The Rules of Christmas Etiquette
Tis the season for parties and other festive get togethers. And hence the reason for "The Rules of Christmas Etiquette." We think it pretty much nails the points of good etiquette-- and not just for those holiday parties, but for most of the parties you'll attend in 2017.
Christmas Party Etiquette Everyone Should Abide By This Holiday Season (Rules Subject to Change):
1. IF HOSTING A PARTY, PICK YOUR DATE CAREFULLY. Not a person date, but a calendar date. If you schedule a party on the same day as a friend, chances are everyone will go to their party. Because they're cooler than you, and they probably planned their date carefully. And if you're throwing an ugly sweater party, they're for sure not going to come. Because those are lame. Unless this is you...of which they're definitely going come:
We also recommend throwing your party towards the beginning of December. People have family stuff, work stuff, etc. to attend to as Christmas draws nearer. That, and it all tends to collide the two weeks prior to the big day. And then there's last minute shopping. And don't wait until after Christmas! People are so over the holidays at that point, and on to thinking about Spring Break.
2. IF ATTENDING A PARTY, KNOW THE DATE. Mark your calendar! Use a Post-it Note if need be. Have your intern or pledge remind you. If you're an intern or pledge, don't mess this up! These days, there really is no excuse for not remembering something. If the event was planned via Evite or a Facebook events, respond to it. Don't be that idiot in the "no-reply" column. You already know you're going, so why not give the host a heads up? Plus, if the host is a close friend, they'll probably make sure your favorite nip is on-hand.
3. BE TIMELY. Being late is never good. No matter, 20 minutes late is one thing. Being over an hour late is another. Plan accordingly and recognize that this isn't a college mixer where arriving at the end of the night just to find a hookup will go unnoticed. Plus, if you're late, you'll miss out on all the best hors d'oeuvres. And if people are already drunk, you'll miss out on ALL of the hors d'oeuvres.
4. BLACK TIE MEANS BLACK TIE. There is the famed ugly sweater party that we are all fucking sick of usually ends up with someone passed out on the lawn. Then there's the formal Christmas party that your host will put forth great effort to make it a pleasurable and upscale event-- complete with champagne (not Andre) and maybe a hired bartender. This isn't a "get dressed up to get messed up" sorta gathering. And yes, it's totally appropriate to throw on a Knot ribbon belt with any suit/shirt/tie combo-- even a tux.
5. BRING A GIFT. Coming empty-handed to a cocktail party, especially a Christmas party, is extremely tacky. Pick up a bottle of wine, some dessert, or any sort of small trinket of appreciation. It doesn't have to be much. Remember, a twelver of Buds is better than no twelver of Buds, so just play off of the "12 Days of Christmas" song and hand them out like candy. Tip: go the extra mile and tie each one up with a pretty red bow.
6. THANK YOUR HOSTS. Look them in the eye, say their names, and give them a heartfelt "thank you." Now is not the time to call your friend by their college nickname. Class it up, asshole, this is a Christmas party. But...you might be a little buzzed up at this point, so do your best.
7. BRING A FLASK. It's the Swiss Army Knife of holiday parties. But it's wise to share, and it better be bourbon. Bourbon is the most versatile sauce for spiking a drink. Egg nog, mulled cider, a glass with just ice, after dinner coffee or hot chocolate. Before you leave, make sure to refill your flask for the after party. It's the gift that keeps on giving...and taking.
8. DON'T SHOW UP DRUNK! Leave drunk, sure! But the idea of most holiday parties is to show up sober (or slightly buzzed) and then leave drunk. Not to show up drunk and then leave REALLY drunk.
9. LEAVE THE STEREO ALONE. Unless you're the DJ, or were asked to bring a playlist, leave the iPod in its dock. Nobody likes your month old Drake and nobody likes your two month old Drake, so don't even think about it. Of course, there are always parties with a weak music scene. If you find yourself at one of these parties, fade the current song out by lowering the volume when no one is looking. Then, put your crazy wild jams on at a low murmur until someone says, "hey I love this song!" The volume will be cranked, champagne popped and you'll be Krilling the heck out of the place before the track ends. Chances are the host will be totally cool with it. Claim ownership of the new music only after the host approves.
10. MINGLE, MINGLE, MINGLE. Every party has the potential to be the best party of all time. But achieving this status only comes when others are also having the best party of all time. If you don't know someone, introduce yourself. Offer to get them a fresh drink. Chances are you'll have more friends there than you think, anyway. But if not, why not cease the moment to make some new friends. Who knows, you might run into some of those social media friends you have, but rarely ever interact with in real life.
11. KNOW WHEN TO LEAVE. There will come a time in the evening where you go to refill your solo cup at the bar. On the way there, you shoulder a doorway, hip-check a chair and maybe even trip over a rug. Unbeknownst to you, at least one other party goer will be throwing you a dirty look. If you make it to the bar, do not ask for more punch! Everyone knows you've been swimming in it all night. Instead, think of your exit. Then, see #6 above.
12. DON'T TAKE TO SOCIAL MEDIA. Sure, a quick post that says "had a helluva good time ringing in some cheer at Scotty's last night" is AOK. But posting pictures of your friend shotgunning beers, is highly inappropriate. And potentially damaging to his reputation. It's also damaging to your reputation, because now, everyone knows you're a dick.
With this, we bid you all adieu and hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday season. Go easy on the egg nog!